Hot desking and mince pies

Christmas offers up the best time for prevarication. I can waste an endless amount of time eating yet another mince pie, training and stretching my stomach  in readiness for the real challenge yet to come - Christmas lunch - on average 7,000 calories apparently ..!  Anything to avoid actually working.

I don’t mind admitting that I am finding it really hard; nay ... (was that the sound of deer on the roof ??) impossible, to keep from being distracted and get on with anything resembling profitable output. Apart from the obligatory distractions of Christmas present buying; including those extra tricky ‘Secret Santa’ (success or distress for a fiver); there are so many extra curricula ‘only at Christmas’ activities we have to squeeze in around the daily grind; time management - ‘Bah Humbug !’

Take writing this column for example. I know I have to do it; I know when it has to be ready; but how long have I still messed around sorting my in tray (well, lifting and replacing the contents) and archiving irrelevant emails - generally trying to cheat my serious head; which by the way is getting very frustrated with me, into thinking that I really am, “going to get on with it in a minute” - honest !

If this sounds familiar we may have finally got to the point of this column.

Most of us are charged with the job (apart from the day one obviously) of chief custodian of everything historically assigned to womenfolk - you don’t you really need a list.  Whilst mere mortals are relaxing on their sofas and enjoying some time off...  we find ourselves .... ‘just loading the washing machine; writing a few cards, checking my emails - be there in a minute’ ... . At times like this, when the burden is exacerbated by the small matter of offering up the best Christmas you can - (and by the 25th!) is it at all surprising that your coping mechanism flashes Rudolph red alert and offers you yet another mince pie by way of a platitude.

Quite frankly, no. And, if like me your problem is compounded by enjoying the freedom of working for yourself, then you are in double trouble - my kitchen has never been so clean or the dishwasher emptied and refilled so frequently.

I have a new years resolution. It is to find fellow sufferers who love working for themselves, but also enjoy the discipline of mindless chat around the photocopier and want to hot desk a little. I seek the holy grail of really ‘logging off’ and I am already reserving my place on the sofa.

Of course there is always the danger that my attention will still wander and I am thinking that I should install a token dishwasher close by said hot desk - to stack and re-stack at will; thus fooling my sensible head into thinking that I am being productive .... after all.

Confidence is the key to finding success in business for Women

Entrepreneurism is charging up the popularity poles and, true to type, refuses to lay down and keep quiet.

Barely a day passes without a missive from someone urging us into new enterprise - self reliance and self employment.

The message is very powerful. Duncan Bannatyne - who needs no introduction, has recently said that ‘it is the best time ever to start [a new business]’.  Given the critical nature of the employment market and the redundancy horror stories that affect everyone in every sector, the rally call is timely and may be seen as motivating; but is it misplaced? Entrepreneurship is not a boat that everyone can float.

As an Ambassador for Enterprising Women, I recently met 45 female entrepreneurs at the House of Commons. It was evident that each and every one of us had turned our passion it into a workable business. The glorious evening was hosted by Bev Hurley: herself a serial entrepreneur and one of the UK's leading experts on growing sustainable and successful women-owned businesses.

On the drive home I mused upon the secret ingredient that these ladies evidently possess.  Is it nature or nurture? Were these ladies born with a business brain and unshakeable resolve, or did life fashion their choices and the right doors open for them?

Duncan Bannatyne’s fellow Dragon, Peter Jones, believes that entrepreneurship and enterprise is something that can be taught. He has orchestrated the National Enterprise Academy to foster enterprise amongst the next generation, male and female - but, which ever side of the bed you lie, there is one very special ingredient that you must have by the bucket load - confidence in yourself. And there’s the rub; for whatever reason, women tend towards self-depreciation and a lack of self belief. Fundamentally we do not believe that we can do it on our own and this in a nutshell is what holds so many of us back.

My musing have led me to believe that there is a reason and perhaps an answer. As far back as we know, men fought for what they wanted. Using their innate physical strength they found food, shelter and a mate to bear and raise their children. Only the strongest survived.  Although evolution has ensured that modern manifestations of progress are rather more sophisticated; genetic memory is very strong.  With a warrior’s mindset, you can well understand why self belief and self reliance begets self-confidence. Women, on the other hand, have historically depended upon their menfolk to protect and provide. Remember that women only won the right to vote in 1928, just 72 years ago.  Some say that this land mark was the resultant and cumulative appreciation of women’s work efforts during the First World War and the subsequent change in focus. Prior to that, women’s working role in western countries was limited, designated, ‘women’s work’ for the majority.
So, history and anthropology aside, if you are battling with a lack of self confidence; you are not alone - take heart and be brave.

Mary-Jane is a Norfolk business coach and mentor. You can contact her at mary.jane.kingsland@gmail.com

Time Management Musts And Moving The Deck Chairs !

SOME HELPFUL NOTES ON TIME MANAGEMENT ........  ‘oh that old Chestnut !!’

My clients and I often end up discussing how they can get more done during a busy day.  Clients and friends ask about the secret to being more productive and then reel off a list of all the distractions; interruptions and demands on their time. They say they can't focus because of the constant barrage of phone calls; emails and daily pressure of working in today’s ‘instant response’ demanding environment.

Sound familiar?

Quite frankly; if you carry on as you are, the simple answer is that you will never solve the problem.

Got your attention?

Right, let’s begin have to have a discussion about what you need to do to
focus your time and get everything done.

First things first :-

1.  All cures begin with an accurate diagnosis, or as Albert Einstein observed, ‘few problems can be solved by the kind of thinking that created them in the first place’, i.e. keep doing the same thing and expect the same results’- no surprises there.

Too often our attempts at "time management" are akin to re-arranging deck chairs on the Titanic. You get the picture?

2.  Accept that most of your have to's are self imposed. Very few things in life are truly "musts"

Secondly:-

List your most important priorities and if your list has more than 4-5 items on it, ask yourself if that really makes sense? Less important things may have to go.

Most importantly :-

Slow down.

Remember the old saying: "when you find yourself in a hole, the least you can do is stop digging!" (Abraham Lincoln said - "If I had 8 hours to chop down a tree, I would spend the first 7 hours sharpening my axe," never has there been a better metaphor for PLANNING.

And finally” -

High achievers make their goals into a lifestyle. They create a way of living that is built around their most important values and their highest priorities. They live the life they truly want. They certainly don't promise that someday they'll write a book or take a vacation. They plan and create a life that reflects their greatest desires and they do it TODAY.

If you want to do the same, let me know and I will do what I can to help you.  M-J

Mentoring - It's all about You !

Mentoring is not new; it manifested in Greek Mythology; the Greek Goddess Athena, took on the guise of a mortal mentor to encourage and inform. The first recorded modern usage can be traced back to 1699.

In these challenging times, Mentoring is making a big comeback - and rightly so.

Different from a role model, a Mentor engages with you; has only your best interests at heart and has the skill to build a meaningful relationship which bears fruit.

A Mentoring relationship works because your Mentor can provide you with the expertise, borne out of  their own experience; to advance your career, enhance your education - formal and otherwise - and build meaningful networks. I know this because my own career has been enhanced by the support and encouragement of more than one Mentor.

Back in 2004, I had what I now euphemistically refer to as an Epiphany.  I realised that to move forward in my career I needed help. Not the advice of those closest to me; valuable as that is, it is hard to find objectivity amongst your family and friends - they want the best for you but, might not have the special resources that you need. I recognised that I needed the help of someone who could take a pragmatic view of my situation and with whom I could develop an empowering relationship.  And yes, you are right - it had to be all about me.

I recognised that as a young women I had paid far too much attention to the knee jerk type, ‘advice’, that is routinely given to girls when discussing their future careers. Fortunately I had enough acumen to ignore the advice of our history teacher, also moonlighting as the careers advisor: he focused upon my speaking voice and suggested that I should look for work as a telephonist.

Now, if being a telephonist is what you want; embrace it - but, it was not what I wanted and he should have known that. The sad thing is that it made me doubt what I was capable of - and thus I shelved my dreams for at least a couple of years.

Fortunately, I was back on track after a pivotal conversation with a enlightened law lecturer who merely posed the question ....”Well, why wouldn’t you?” This resourceful individual encouraged me to embark on a strenuous course of study, even though I had to continue to work full time. He effectively mentored me through a tough period and gave me the confidence to find a successful niche in the workplace.

Again, following my Epiphany in 2004, I returned to university and was fortunate to find a post-graduate student; older and with a great deal more experience, who took me under her wing and gently nurtured me through a masters degree.

I owe them both a great debt of thanks - yet neither asked for anything in return - other than my perseverance.

It is my view that women sideline their careers and own advancement for reasons which even they may not understand.  I conducted a brief survey recently, with the history teacher scenario in mind  - and found that in the group I contacted, the majority had had a similar experience; the advice that they had received at crucial moments - such as whether to go to university - pursue a dream - take a risk: had only served to rein in their aspirations.  Happily they rallied, believed in themselves and ultimately pursued their dreams.

The beauty of Mentoring is that you are allowed, indeed - you are encouraged to put yourself first; something that many of us still find difficult.  And, this is what lies at the heart of Mentoring - and why I am such a passionate advocate for it. The Mentoring relationship is unique because it is designed to empower you - to move you forward with confidence - it is, indeed, all about you.


Mary-Jane is the founder of Green Light Coaching and Mentoring,  http:/www.green-light.uk.com. and currently supporting Project Evolve, a government funding mentoring programme,  http://www.uea.ac.uk/nbs/evolve/about

Is this something for you ?

I need a hero !

I recently commented in the EDP upon the Treasury Select Committee’s report which found that the UK’s Banking debacle was in part due to the lack of women in top jobs in the financial sector.

Effectiveness of female bankers aside, my view is that we need to see a real cultural shift in attitude before we see any improvement in the current statistics - which confirm that only 9% of board members of the FTSE 350 companies are female.

Although you may not have any burning desire to head up a corporation; I would argue that whatever position you hold, you should not be afraid to expect recognition and proper reward for your efforts - and equally be aware of the real danger of falling into the ‘unsung hero’ trap.

I certainly did. I believed that so long as I worked hard and did a good job, my efforts would be recognised and acknowledged - more fool me. If the phrase ‘all of the responsibility and none of the reward’ sounds familiar, it could be time to make a change.

The question to ask yourself is: “Why am I behaving this way?” The answer may be uncomfortable reading; but most likely lies in that female cracker - self doubt.

Janet Street Porter would not strike you as a shrinking violet - yet in an interview on Radio 4 last year, discussing the lack of women in the boardroom, she surprised everyone by suggesting that lack of confidence was the problem. She admitted that whilst she appeared confident - the reality was quite different - she hit the metaphorical nail on the head.

For reasons of expectation and upbringing no doubt; a lack of self belief is often a pre-cursor for falling into the unsung hero trap - thus you rely wholeheartedly upon the good auspices of others to reward your efforts.

In my work as a coach I often come across the phenomenon of the ‘impostor syndrome’, particularly with female clients. Despite all evidence to the contrary, there is a fear that one day the mask will slip and their true inadequacies and indeed inability to do the job they have, will be revealed to the world - clearly ridiculous - but none the less powerful and self-limiting.

Another restrictive factor is the lack of positive role models. To this end, I was delighted to see that Bev Hurley’s stirling efforts for enterprising, entrepreneurial women in our region and beyond, were recognised last week in the Queen’s Award for Enterprise Promotion. Bev Hurley is a powerhouse of innovation and a true inspiration - exactly what you need in a role model. Moreover, it is proven that women, more than men, benefit from role modeling; more particularly: the shared gender specific knowledge and experience that high achieving women demonstrate. All well and good, but I would suggest that as well as looking to others for inspiration - how about also looking to yourself?

Think about it - what qualities does a role model exhibit? True role models are those who possess admirable skills; they make us want to work smarter and be better people; to advocate for ourselves, attain our goals and take leadership on the issues that we believe in. A role model can inspire, but ultimately it is you who has to act upon that inspiration.

If we are to see more women on the board and redress the balance, there is no better place to start than with yourself. Be your own hero - or is that heroine !!

M-J is a Coach and Mentor, see her website at www.green-light.uk.com. M-J, also Chairs the Norwich Businesswomen’s Network, www.nbwn.co.uk

Come on Ladies !

The Norwich Businesswomen’s Network met earlier this month to hear Paul Hill, Editor of The Business, speak on the subject:- ‘How do we judge success - Particularly in women?’. 70 local businesswomen gathered and the answer in a nutshell was:- ‘Differently’.

The debate continues, other organisations are taking up the mantle, but I fear that it throws up more questions than it answers.

There appears to be no good reason why successful business women in our region are all but absent from the last listing of the Future50. I know from my Chair of the NBWN that 25% of the membership own and run their own business - and that some are certainly successful enough to be featured.

Why they are not; has occupied me since I last wrote about it in September 2009. I received - and continue to receive - correspondence from female entrepreneurs who on the face of it should be nominated - but here’s the rub - they have not put themselves forward - why not?

Aside from a few; the majority of successful ladies fail to self promote; draw attention to their achievements; chest beat - call it what you like. We are shrinking violets when it comes to shouting our success from the roof tops - why is that?

I know several women who run their own businesses, nay have started a business from scratch at home; whilst also pioneering family life: who are roof top shouting successful - but do they do not shout! Why not?

Clambering down from my soap box for a moment; I do accept that not all women want to run their own business and there are no prerequisites for seeking unbridled accolade if you do; but if it is your bag then why on earth would you not want the world to know how well you have done? The thing is: our menfolk are not so shy about grabbing the limelight and drawing attention to their achievements - I give you a classic example. A good friend of mine started a business when she was a young mum. She developed it successfully and her husband gave up a well paid job to join her - you could be forgiven for thinking that it has always been his business though, to hear him talk.

Obviously my friend is quick to point out the mistake, but my point is, unless you are prepared to stand up and be counted you will be overlooked. Society still likes to assume that it is the man that is the high achiever - and quite frankly, who can blame it if we fail to push ourselves forward.

You will remember John Gray’s well thumbed book, “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus”. In a dumbed down way it explained what we all already knew - men and women are different animals and once you recognise that you will stop expecting them to act and perform the same - that goes for a female run business too - it’s a completely different animal.

So where does that leave the Future50 and the like? The answer must lie in the criteria that the judges apply - any panel must recognise that success comes in all shapes and sizes - and some of it may be more curvaceous than others.

The answer also lies in business women accepting that success, in all it’s forms; is worth standing up for.

Eleanor Roosevelt summed it up beautifully when she said “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” Come on Ladies!

Mary-Jane is a specialist coach and trainer: see her website www.green-light.uk.com

Are you being trampled by a Pink Elephant?

I was asked to join in the debate about workplace bullies the other day on BBC Radio Norfolk. Nick Conrad invited listeners to call in with their experiences. One lady rang in with a miserable account of how her female boss had bullied her into leaving her job.

You might think that working women would watch out for one another - but you would be wrong. Research shows that two thirds of known female bullies choose other women as their victims. What is more, the tactics they employ are so much more subtle than ranting and raving Gordon Brown style; oh yes, you will have to ‘box clever’ if one has you in her sights.

The phenomenon is sometimes called ‘the pink elephant in the room.’ Hitting right at the heart of the sisterhood; the female perpetrator will systematically, cleverly sabotage her colleague, but often in such a way that is impossible to report; without sounding more than slightly paranoid.

I heard of one top female executive who managed to get onto a board of directors, only to be adroitly hoisted off by the other female board member who started a whispering campaign; which the male board members were only too happy to endorse. Clearly there was only room for one Queen Bee.

Worryingly statistics show that bullying at work has increased by a staggering 50% over the last decade. Moreover, 52% of known victims are women. Charitable helplines set up to help victims cope are reporting a startling rise in calls.

I think that these increases may be due, in part to the fact that since the 1970’s gender inequality was outlawed as an excuse to underpay working woman and as a result women have steadily developed a growing presence in the workplace; representing 48% of the current workforce, working full and part time.

That’s the good news, the bad news is that even now, female graduates earn less than their male counterparts! Don’t let anyone tell you that the playing field is any where near level yet.

So given this, it is perhaps not too hard to see the motivation at least, behind the defensive behaviour of some career orientated females. Moreover, bullying at work is more common amongst higher wage earners - and there lies another important factor.

Despite equal pay legislation and the cursory nod towards flexible working practice, the disparity between the sexes and incomes is stark. My attention was recently drawn to an article which dwelt upon the question of whether a woman could expect her marriage to survive if she earnt more than her husband. Figures were heralded as ‘significant and staggering’ and suggested that a quarter of working women now earn as much as their husbands - a quarter !!! Goodness me, time to break out the Cava - obviously we cannot afford champagne on our wages.

That aside, bullying in any shape or form should never be tolerated, but recognising what lies behind a bully’s behaviour will help you understand that it is never your fault. A common explanation is that a person is promoted beyond their abilities and finds themselves inadequate to the task; yet they cannot entertain the possibility of failure - so they lash out at others to vent their frustrations - don't get trampled in the process.

Mary-Jane, M.A.,M.A.C. is Chair of the Norwich Businesswomen’s Network, HYPERLINK "http://www.nbwn.co.uk" www.nbwn.co.uk.and owner of Green Light, www.green-light.uk.com

Are you being trampled by a Pink Elephant

Are you being trampled by a Pink Elephant

Women and their Pensions

There are two ways of looking at the ageing. If your cup is half empty; you might imagine an inevitable downward decline in physical and mental attributes but, if your cup runneth over - you will count your blessings; spend an alarming amount on face cream and continue as an asset in any workplace, no matter what your chronological measure.

However, there is no escaping the fact that it is never too early to think about your retirement - and just in case you have not got around to it, others are thinking about it for you.

The Equalities and Human Rights Commission is looking to bring about a reform of retirement age and indeed have made it the focus of its pre-election campaigning. The EHRC, supported by Saga, have called for the retirement age to be scrapped entirely.

Apparently, the EHRC proposals are backed by a survey into older workers’ aspirations. A quarter of men and two thirds of women aged over 50 say that they want to carry on working beyond state pensionable age.

There is a world of difference however, between ‘want’ and ‘need’. The existing default retirement age allows employers to require all staff to retire at 65. The decision is appealable and interestingly 1.3 million people work beyond state pension age. Is this because they have chosen to lengthen their working lives - or simply that they have no other option financially?

Isn’t it fair to argue that if you have worked throughout your life and contributed to not only your state but also a private pension fund, it is a reasonable expectation that retirement provision will reflect your efforts? Apparently not, if you are the average working woman your payable pension will reflect your gender.

Kay Burt, of Kay Burt Investments comments:

“Many women lose out in terms of pension income in the UK. They often receive lower pension income from employee pension plans, because of lower average pay and fewer years worked, due to time off to raise children. They also receive lower annuity income payments when they come to take their personal pension benefits as well, as they tend to live an average of 3yrs longer than men; this is taken into account when the pension companies determine how much annual income they will pay women, compared to men for the same accumulated pension fund.”

There is a double whammy here. The disparities in gender provision are further highlighted by the fact that women who worked part-time to facilitate the business of raising a family were often prevented from joining a company pension scheme at all; leaving them reliant upon a state pension scheme which is historically calculable upon the number of years worked and paid proportionately.

By removing the default pensionable age and minimising pay outs from pensions funds, many women will be forced to continue working at a time in their lives when they would prefer not to. Jeanette Wheeler Employment Partner at Birketts Solicitors comments:

“I predict that one result of this change in legislation will be that whilst some people will benefit, (it is clear that for economic reasons there is a necessity to allow people to work longer, when such poor pension provision has been made by so many) employers may well seek to performance manage or discipline older employees who in the past they had left alone on the basis that they would be retired soon. I have come across many such situations....”

This comment reflects recent research at the University of Portsmouth that women of around 60 report being less happy at work than their male counterparts.

Whatever the reason, it appears that a woman’s decision to retire will be coloured by legislative and financial impositions and that age is no longer a pre-requisite for determining when. http://www.green-light.uk.com" www.green-light.uk.com

Time Machines !

I like this time of year - it offers the perfect opportunity to think about what lies ahead. Aside from contemplating your expanded waistline and depleted bank balance; I suggest you reflect upon how you can make your most precious resource - time, work for you over the next 12 months. As we all know, time is limited and the lack of it gave birth to every skilled working woman's effective answer - multitasking.

The need for clear thinking and organisation has reached an all time high over the last few years. Not only are we judged by our ability to juggle work/home/our contribution to the community and also remain Nigella Lawson delicious - we now have another time vacuum to cater for - our 'on line presence'.

Last year, I devoted many days of my life developing my LinkedIn profile; alongside the plethora of other online necessities - but, the more you participate, the more time you have to spend keeping up to date. So much so that there doesn't seem to be enough time in a day - and there’s the rub. When do you call a halt and concentrate on the real people in the room? I know that I keep up to date in the early evening; whilst also cooking dinner, loading the washing machine and yes it has to be said, probably ignoring everyone with a pulse in the near vicinity.

This does beg the question - why are we all so desperate to be seen online - and is this extraordinarily time consuming; but apparently necessary 'presence', a good thing?

Ofcom, the communications regulator, researched modern online activity recently and found that this almost epidemic form of time swallower, is at an all time high. Over a third of people questioned admitted to being online in the evenings (phew!). Moreover, women have closed the gender gap and are leading the way, particularly in the forum of online social networking. The number of women using social networks, for business and pleasure has grown by 53% over the last year alone.

Social networking is undoubtedly embraced by working women because it is the easiest and perhaps more importantly - the quickest, way to keep in touch; whilst also maintaining some semblance of a work life balance.

Men like socialising on line too, but multitasking women are naturally drawn to this type of relationship building; Twitter is a case in point; limited to 140 characters you can post a quick update in a moment.

I would never suggest that quick tweets and emails should replace face to face contact. There will always be a need for the personal touch; but the internet appears to satisfy our need to be sociable; the astounding growth of online interaction proves this.

Yes of course, the need to keep up to speed with online activity and contending with real life can be exhausting - as with all multitasking it requires commitment and planning - but hey, working women have been excelling at both since time immemoriable.

So, with this in mind you may be tickled to know that according to researchers, we have effectively gained between 5 - 7 hours of free time each week since the 1960's. I have no idea how we have managed to do that and I have no idea where I might find them - but it does give me hope that if I continue to multitask so effectively in 2010 I will have enough time to sit down with a cup of tea and do absolutely nothing - well, until someone sends me a text !

Mary-Jane wishes you all a very happy and healthy New Year.

mary.jane.kingsland@gmail.com