Mentoring - It's all about You !

Mentoring is not new; it manifested in Greek Mythology; the Greek Goddess Athena, took on the guise of a mortal mentor to encourage and inform. The first recorded modern usage can be traced back to 1699.

In these challenging times, Mentoring is making a big comeback - and rightly so.

Different from a role model, a Mentor engages with you; has only your best interests at heart and has the skill to build a meaningful relationship which bears fruit.

A Mentoring relationship works because your Mentor can provide you with the expertise, borne out of  their own experience; to advance your career, enhance your education - formal and otherwise - and build meaningful networks. I know this because my own career has been enhanced by the support and encouragement of more than one Mentor.

Back in 2004, I had what I now euphemistically refer to as an Epiphany.  I realised that to move forward in my career I needed help. Not the advice of those closest to me; valuable as that is, it is hard to find objectivity amongst your family and friends - they want the best for you but, might not have the special resources that you need. I recognised that I needed the help of someone who could take a pragmatic view of my situation and with whom I could develop an empowering relationship.  And yes, you are right - it had to be all about me.

I recognised that as a young women I had paid far too much attention to the knee jerk type, ‘advice’, that is routinely given to girls when discussing their future careers. Fortunately I had enough acumen to ignore the advice of our history teacher, also moonlighting as the careers advisor: he focused upon my speaking voice and suggested that I should look for work as a telephonist.

Now, if being a telephonist is what you want; embrace it - but, it was not what I wanted and he should have known that. The sad thing is that it made me doubt what I was capable of - and thus I shelved my dreams for at least a couple of years.

Fortunately, I was back on track after a pivotal conversation with a enlightened law lecturer who merely posed the question ....”Well, why wouldn’t you?” This resourceful individual encouraged me to embark on a strenuous course of study, even though I had to continue to work full time. He effectively mentored me through a tough period and gave me the confidence to find a successful niche in the workplace.

Again, following my Epiphany in 2004, I returned to university and was fortunate to find a post-graduate student; older and with a great deal more experience, who took me under her wing and gently nurtured me through a masters degree.

I owe them both a great debt of thanks - yet neither asked for anything in return - other than my perseverance.

It is my view that women sideline their careers and own advancement for reasons which even they may not understand.  I conducted a brief survey recently, with the history teacher scenario in mind  - and found that in the group I contacted, the majority had had a similar experience; the advice that they had received at crucial moments - such as whether to go to university - pursue a dream - take a risk: had only served to rein in their aspirations.  Happily they rallied, believed in themselves and ultimately pursued their dreams.

The beauty of Mentoring is that you are allowed, indeed - you are encouraged to put yourself first; something that many of us still find difficult.  And, this is what lies at the heart of Mentoring - and why I am such a passionate advocate for it. The Mentoring relationship is unique because it is designed to empower you - to move you forward with confidence - it is, indeed, all about you.


Mary-Jane is the founder of Green Light Coaching and Mentoring,  http:/www.green-light.uk.com. and currently supporting Project Evolve, a government funding mentoring programme,  http://www.uea.ac.uk/nbs/evolve/about

Is this something for you ?