I was asked to join in the debate about workplace bullies the other day on BBC Radio Norfolk. Nick Conrad invited listeners to call in with their experiences. One lady rang in with a miserable account of how her female boss had bullied her into leaving her job.
You might think that working women would watch out for one another - but you would be wrong. Research shows that two thirds of known female bullies choose other women as their victims. What is more, the tactics they employ are so much more subtle than ranting and raving Gordon Brown style; oh yes, you will have to ‘box clever’ if one has you in her sights.
The phenomenon is sometimes called ‘the pink elephant in the room.’ Hitting right at the heart of the sisterhood; the female perpetrator will systematically, cleverly sabotage her colleague, but often in such a way that is impossible to report; without sounding more than slightly paranoid.
I heard of one top female executive who managed to get onto a board of directors, only to be adroitly hoisted off by the other female board member who started a whispering campaign; which the male board members were only too happy to endorse. Clearly there was only room for one Queen Bee.
Worryingly statistics show that bullying at work has increased by a staggering 50% over the last decade. Moreover, 52% of known victims are women. Charitable helplines set up to help victims cope are reporting a startling rise in calls.
I think that these increases may be due, in part to the fact that since the 1970’s gender inequality was outlawed as an excuse to underpay working woman and as a result women have steadily developed a growing presence in the workplace; representing 48% of the current workforce, working full and part time.
That’s the good news, the bad news is that even now, female graduates earn less than their male counterparts! Don’t let anyone tell you that the playing field is any where near level yet.
So given this, it is perhaps not too hard to see the motivation at least, behind the defensive behaviour of some career orientated females. Moreover, bullying at work is more common amongst higher wage earners - and there lies another important factor.
Despite equal pay legislation and the cursory nod towards flexible working practice, the disparity between the sexes and incomes is stark. My attention was recently drawn to an article which dwelt upon the question of whether a woman could expect her marriage to survive if she earnt more than her husband. Figures were heralded as ‘significant and staggering’ and suggested that a quarter of working women now earn as much as their husbands - a quarter !!! Goodness me, time to break out the Cava - obviously we cannot afford champagne on our wages.
That aside, bullying in any shape or form should never be tolerated, but recognising what lies behind a bully’s behaviour will help you understand that it is never your fault. A common explanation is that a person is promoted beyond their abilities and finds themselves inadequate to the task; yet they cannot entertain the possibility of failure - so they lash out at others to vent their frustrations - don't get trampled in the process.
Mary-Jane, M.A.,M.A.C. is Chair of the Norwich Businesswomen’s Network, HYPERLINK "http://www.nbwn.co.uk" www.nbwn.co.uk.and owner of Green Light, www.green-light.uk.com
